I recently gathered a large body of spam recently and sent it into the SETI@home project, and it turns out, you know what, it is from an extra-terrestrial source. Yes, Asimov was right, but not about jokes. Spam is from approximately 100 light years away - it turns out friendly aliens heard Marconi's early broadcast SOS message across the Atlantic
and realized that earthlings needed help, and so they cooked up lots of useful things like viagra and low cost loans of 25M pounds of gold from Sierra Leone, and sent off messages immediately on how to get these
the only reason that people don't get the thing they want, when they reply to spam, is that we havn't connected the internet to the Intra-Galactic Internet yet....real soon now, when the Interplanetary Internet reaches Pluto, we will be able to respond to the right email addresses and web sites - then the health and welath of the planet will be assured for the unforeseeable future.
Then you will here "this is the voice of the mysterons" coming over your skype connection loud and clear.